I remember as my due date approached, I was a mix of excited and nervous…which I’ve come to realize are my feelings around any major life event!
I was excited to see what my daughter would look like, hear her first breath, hold her for the first time, experience her first smile, feel what labor feels like (this sounds crazy I know, but I was curious…no, I didn’t plan to go natural just wanted to have a sense of the pain before requesting that epidural).
Yet also nervous for when we got sent home from the hospital, would I be a good mom, do I have that “maternal” instinct everyone talks about, will I know what to do, how will I handle no sleep (or at least very little of it), how long would it take before I was back to “me” – having real abs again and running!
As I think about all the things I couldn’t wait for and was scared of as a new mom, I also remember back to when we were starting our first IVF cycle.
I was met with the same mix of emotions…I had a reserved excitement. I am anally organized, so I felt comforted by the timeline and detailed instructions of IVF. But also knew we had a long road ahead of us, would this first try work, how would my body react, how would I handle the stress of it all? I was ready to start this next step, but also was nervous and anxious, all the things my body had gone through already in dealing with infertility seemed to flash through my mind. I felt like a science experiment. It was easy to get wrapped up and look too far ahead. Bill was amazing, he kept reassuring me that we were a team, that we would get through this together, and he would be with me every step of the way. All of the little disappointments we had up to that point, did remind me that I was ready to move forward, ready to take on the challenge, and was getting more ready and excited about the idea of finally being pregnant!