By Rebecca Gruenspan, MSW, RG Adoption Consulting
I get calls all the time from people who just want to gather information while still trying to get pregnant through infertility treatments. It’s a great idea to have a clear understanding of what your next steps are and when you will take those steps, while also being fully present and engaged at whatever stage you are currently in.
You should be fully present in whatever stage you are in at the moment.
What I’m trying to say is:
Make a plan!
But not while in the throws of fertility treatments, when you’re jacked up on hormones and an emotional wreck.
Make a plan in between cycles when you’re a bit more level headed and can think clearly…or even before you begin.
THEN, and only then, make your plan!
What do I mean?
Start by asking yourself questions like…
How many times do I want to try this before moving on to something else? (i.e. using Clomid? How many cycles before trying a different method?, etc.)
What IS that next step for you? Is it trying a different drug treatment, moving from IUI to IVF, or maybe IVF to adoption or surrogacy?
Ultimately, I think the big question becomes how many more cycles of fertility am I willing to go through before moving on to the next chapter?
Your answer may be different from someone else’s, but having made a plan that you’ve clearly thought through will help alleviate SOME of the emotional distress later.
As I mentioned before, just because you’ve made a plan, you should be fully present in whatever stage you are in at the moment. Because wherever you are needs your full energy.
When you are ready to take another step in a different direction, first allow yourself time to mourn/process/grieve the step you just completed before moving on to the next.
This part is really important.
In making your plan, make sure you are informed. Talk to your Dr. if you think there might be another fertility option for you, and if you could use a little support along the way, reach out to Katie O’Connor at Shine, of course! If you’ve been exploring surrogacy or egg donation, talk to my friend Mindy Berkson at Lotus Blossom Consulting. And if you think adoption is something you want to explore, start talking to people who have adopted to learn more and, well…reach out to me at RG Adoption Consulting!!
I will leave you with one last thought. No matter how much pain or how many ups and downs you experience, the way you become a parent in the end, won’t matter. Trust me, I know!
The way you become a parent in the end, won’t matter.
For more information about infertility:
Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.
About the author: Rebecca Gruenspan is the founder and Chief Navigator of RG Adoption Consulting. Having struggled with fertility herself, Rebecca, a single mother by choice, ultimately chose adoption as her path to build her family. RG Adoption Consulting provides comprehensive consultation and education services created to provide a deeper understanding of the domestic adoption process, and helps you build your family–usually, in less than 12 months!